There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize