Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize