i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
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Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
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Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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