He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize