My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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