the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize