Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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