I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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