i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
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I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
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