): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
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Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
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I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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