Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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