Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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