so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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