i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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