Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize