That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize