Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize