I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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