i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
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She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
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I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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