I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
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I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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