I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize