no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize