question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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