If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
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