She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
This is my gift to your gina
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
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