Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
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i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
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So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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