I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize