no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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