i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
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He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
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You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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