i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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