last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Randomize