Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
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I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
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Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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