did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
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I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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