dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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