I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize