so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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