Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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