i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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