I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
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My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
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Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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