You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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