he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I pour the whiskey from now on
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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