Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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