I think im going to throw up on grandma
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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