I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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