So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
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He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize