He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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