im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
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I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
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But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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