I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
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