i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize