dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Randomize